Saturday 5 February 2011

youre probably too smart for school. some people have more use of the right side of their brain than others. these people question things a lot more. they have more ideas of their own. average people tend to use more of the left side of the brain, which functions as a guide to complete certain manual tasks, obey authority and not think too much about their existence or happiness. in a way, theyre very lucky because they can live normal easy lives free of stress, depression and any kind of existentialism. they just do as their told. schools and college cater more towards left brainers than right brainers. right brainers usually persevere and become their own boss and do their own business, or they become miserable and move back home with their folks...because they cant relate to 99% of the population that roams around free of their own thoughts or ideas.

Saturday 13 November 2010

Moved

rozzpr.tumblr.com

Friday 5 November 2010

Life and all that other shit

Gratitude and appreciation
these things i dont show often but i really am astounded and suprised by life.
Every day is a gift. Whether youre busy as fuck or you sit on your ass doing nothing all day. Whether you spend it with a shit tonne of other people or alone you only get one chance at this so go for it.
In life you will encounter many people like yourself but they are all different like you. Never assume anything. Ever.
Take in words others say, make memories, take pictures and see beautiful things.
Make mistakes, be happy, be afraid, be sad but remember that life is fucking beautiful.
Do everything within your power and if not make it so!
Im not going to bullshit you with destiny or fate (which are terrible names for people). I used to think we only have a certain amount of control over our own lives but fuck that you can do anything you put your mind to. if your mind is capable of dreaming that is.
Then comes the element of lazyness
There are only so many hours in the day and we do get tired.
But if youre one of those people that cant get to sleep at night (and you are) then your mind is telling you that you need to apply yourself better.
Whether youre learning some super cool stuff at college uni whatever. Learning to drive. Playing the guitar OOOOOOOooOOooOoo these are all small but significant steps to where you want to go. whether you will get to your desired destination is another matter but at least its making you happy. its making you happy right?
So youre out in the big bad world. You make some money you buy shit and you start wondering what to do next. Do i want a house a car and a family? NO the world doesnt want you to do that its too full!! But it will happen anyway.
So now thats out of the way you can now focus on personal tasks.
Your idea
Your aspiration
Your dream
Your calling
Dont know what it is?
Join the fucking queue.

bleh

writers block

im sure youre familiar with the term. if not then do one innit lerd.
it takes a lot to make me write. And if anyone ever read this shit id be embarassed, then id be like so what.
So what.

I often find myself saying things that others agree with. I say those things no one else will. it could be ''i dont understand'' or ''im afraid'' or more often than not ''im really stoned''
People are afraid to speak their mind. A smart twat would call it biting your tongue, i call it censoring yourself.
No one really knows what anyones about. Ofcourse you can appear to be a lovely well informed respectable person on the surface...
I find it fascinating when you get a glimpse into a real person.
It may take months or years but sooner or later you get a small glimpse into that persons mind, and that persons mind is always fucking twisted as fuck.
There probably are genuine good souls out there. How theyve managed to do it is a miracle. There is no such thing as selflessness. we always do things for personal gain. there is no good or evil. Just people.
Maybe im wrong
maybe this is just a fucked up rant because im dealing with shit that id rather not.
maybe this is what i think
maybe this is what iv been taught to think
maybe there are too many maybes on the screen right now
BLEH
I want to write something worthwhile
something concrete
They say writings supposed to sort your head out.
but this shits just fucking mine up more
maybe i should stop
nah
are there other things to do on a friday night ... well 5am saturday morning?
i could think of a few
my head is filled with images
of disturbing scenarios that are completely stupid
iv always been like this
though i used to use it positively
was i always such a pessimist?
see there is no problem really
thats where the problem lies
do i love the drama? nah
fuck it be honest iv always got to have some kind of burden to burn
some big looming weight on my shoulders
its pathetic really
when theres people dying of starvation dealing with wars and fates worrse than death
im sitting at a computer gnawing at my own mind trying to find a reason.
do i give a shit about anything
do i care too much?
someone said to me i get attatched easily
then 3 days later said i become detatched easily
i used to have this idea of a dice
you roll it and it gives you a number
now its more of a coin flip
psychologists would say thats a good thing
being split personality rather than having lots
i always thought it was a part of acting
you create these characters for certain scenarios then let go
but i dont think i should do that any more
i need to narrow it down to one person condense all these ways of being into one happy individual. become a whole person instead of a plethora of charaded badly thought out characters.
haha headfuck
no really though i should write something better
i have the potential to write
i have the patience
and the time
im just too fucking lazy
theres so much to be done.
i should probably delete this incase i read this in the future or god forbid someone else does.
nah it will be madness to read
a false decline into madness
causing concern for the far too intrusive.

scouse la

so im sitting here
with a biffter in me grid
thinking of all the things i did
wrong
like in another reality
you and i could be
sound
but its not that easy
and you cant be near me
gutted
so why are you fuming
gettin a cob on at three thirty
things should be nice an breezy
you made your bed now lie in it?
quite the opposite really
fucking hell how cheesy
am i really.
dont get me wrong
im trying
but the roads so long and winding
im walking on egg shells
still stacking shelves
writing bad poetry with worse timing
and yeah in another reality
it could just be
you and me
for eternity
and all that
but face facts
our heads are jacked
youre not coming back
and for the record for rhyming sake i could have used the words crack wacky back or smack
but fuck that
iv got more vocabulary
an alter egos arch nemesis entity
i see violence silence love thats vibrant
but i hate this city
this country and its values
the these that and those
the way the cold wind blows
it does my head in
its frustrating
all im doing is ageing
growing cold soul sold and gathering mould
i should be flying
being where i want to be
but where is it
id love to visit
iv become so anaesthetised
i dont even realise what i want no more
like someone else keeping score
gettin bored of the trends
its driving me round the bend
to save face
i even forgot what i was ranting about in the first place
going off on a tangent
finding ways to vent
ah fuck it
ill be the carpet
ill be broken hearted
at least thats what you'll see
because thats not the real me.
I was mad about you
and the things you do
maybe you want me to chase
well thats great
but just let me know
before i let go
like rose in titanic
feeling stressed depressed and manic
dont panic
im a walker and a talker
but lately i feel like another one of your stalkers
so if you want me come and get me
if not then dont regret me
because iv tried and tried till im tired
and right now id rather just get wired
i can only do so much
til i have to give up
but it seems like youre quite gutted about it
like im moving on but you wont allow it
this was your choice your decision
you made a paradise into a prison
and i hope youre happy having someone else to blame
i dont mind. keep playing your mind games.

Tuesday 2 November 2010

.

CJ you were the best
you have stolen my heart
I reallly hope you dont just fade away

Tuesday 7 September 2010

What good can come from negativity?

Maybe the subconscious really wants us to not be happy
surely that cant be the mind of a good man
who wants to be pitied
or empathised with
its not what we say
its what we dont
still we fall for the same old bullshit
i used to think words were worthless
im quickly discovering how wrong i was.
words are all you have
and if you are a man of few words you will be thought of as stupid
i used to think most people can see through it
this is not the case.
People here and there disappearing and reappearing in others lives
totally oblivious to the effect they have on eachother
weaving their own tapestries
whispers and rumours with only dark hearts and dead eyes
to kick up dust and write off their lives
concerned with trivials and false memories
invisible enemies.
Is it a cause for concern
are alarm bells ringing