Who would claim advantage to such a lie? Certainly not I.

Everybody my age should be issued with a 2lb salmon. If you see someone young, beautiful and happy, you should slap them as hard as you can with it.

Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.

True maturity is only reached when a man realises he has become a father figure to his girlfriend's boyfriend's - and he accepts it.